Aspenoolie.......

Way to go Aspen!!!!!! She tried out for math club and found out today that not only did she get in the club...she is Vice President of Publicity!!! Wooo and a great big Hooooo!!!! AND she got inducted into FBLA last week AND she bought her first car yesterday with her very own earned money AND AND AND I heard a rumor that some tall stinky boy needs to come over to our house while she is gone this week. That couldn't have anything to do with Homecoming could it?????? Okay... I need to breathe.

So a little more about the car. Here's a pic of it. It's wrecked,and as you can see it needs a little work BUT it only has 46,000 miles on it and just needs a hood and some other misc parts and it will run like a dream :) Now she can go get me milk and toilet paper. I never have to leave the house again!

"Floppy took THIRD!!!!!"

9:00 P.M. Last Tuesday night Jessa says "MOMMMM I can't go to bed!! I have to make a veggie creation!!!" Okay, are you serious? So being the wonderful mother I am I make Doug come help make this creation because after all, he is the artist right? Jessa decides it's going to be a penguin and his name is Floppy and he has sungoggles made of bell peppers and he is the coolest of the cool. We take Floppy to school the next morning and the day after that she comes home off the bus Sooo excited. MOM!!!! I WON I WON!!! Floppy took Third place in the veggie creation contest! AND everyone knew I won because the principal said my name Mom!! She PRONOUNCED it on the PRONOUNCEMENTS!!" Her certificate is hanging on the fridge signed by the almighty principle and Floppy is chillin in the beer fridge in the garage. Life is good.

"The worst potato peel of all womankind"

I was floating in the tub last night trying to decide what pics to post from all my Summer activities. Thanks alot Amy! She posted this long and wonderful post the other day about all of her Summer activities so I figured I'd better do one too. Then I started thinking about my Aunt Janiel, my Moms sister, i'm sure you all heard that she took her life a couple weeks ago after fighting horrible depression for many, many years. Anyway, I started feeling bad thinking about how much we loved each others morbid sense of humor, and remembering that sometimes as I was blogging I would think to myself "Aunt Janiel is going to LOVE this" so, in honor of her and her love of all things gross. I give you this:


My evening was coming to a relaxing end a few days ago with a nice, hot soak in my tub....soo relaxing. UNTIL. I decide to get all crazy and actually shave my legs. A new fresh 3 blade razor sitting on the side of the tub. Doug walks by and sees my razor, opens his drawer, and gingerly sets a second razor next to the first one without saying a word. What an A-HOLE!

So I start the deed, fast and furious and then, it happens. You know the feeling "did I just..... ohhhhhh I'm not quite sure, but I think....should I look? okay......crap!...... i'm looking.....ohhhhhh it's all white........ maybe I just skimmed the surface?...ohkay, here comes the blood, and then....holy shit it's four inches long!!!!! Of course i have to do what we all do at that point....dunk it back in the hot water like an idiot. Not a good idea.

As my butt slowly unpuckers I get out & fix my leg with a high tech toilet paper skin graft bandage. I bump into Ash a few minutes later in the kitchen and I say "you should see the potato peel I just did". She didn't miss a beat. She instantly knew there were no vegetables involved. She says "oh no..let me see it". Then we proceed to oogle over it for about 10 minutes. So to make a long story short. Yes, I am going to post a pic of my disgusting shave cut.
I think I should win a prize. It is glorious and i'm sure it is the longest potato peel in history. Notice in the pic that one peice of my toilet paper skin graft has held up really well. It was days ago and it is still holding my leg together. Now that I think about it. I'm pretty sure the toilet paper has grown into my leg.


Oh, and check out my bitchin socks I wore to work today.

Jackson the wonder dog.....

We got the honor of babysitting Mike's dog Jackson last weekend. Needless to say we had a ball with him and by the looks of his smile it wasn't such a bad weekend. He spent most of his time trying to fly. Oh, that and also trying to "dominate" our male cat Simon. Needless to say, after three days of it Simon ran away for a day in protest. I on the other hand, found it extremely funny, which i'm sure isn't a huge shock to those that know me well :)

me: "Jessa, will you please get me a glass of water?"

jessa: "no, you can get it........your almost 40 years old"




hell....

Bzzzzzz......

We are being overtaken by these big huge bumble bees. Jessa is trapping them in her bug catcher faster than they can reproduce so I thought i'd take some pics before she makes them extinct. I think that dollar store bug box is the best dollar I ever spent!

Cute little shitpot......

Glenwood Springs trip.........you just never know .....

Aspen

Well...due to my hectic lifestyle I'm late posting about Pinelli's 16th Birthday. Sorry Pinell. I'm not going to post silly pictures this time. Even though we got some great shots of your friends during the pie eating contest! I just want you to know sweetheart....how proud I am of you, how much I cherish you, how much joy you bring to my life. You were such a funny little kid Aspen, so smart... well beyond your years. You never played by the rules. I remember looking at you as an infant and thinking to myself, wow, she has old eyes and in a way she's a little intimidating. It was so wierd, because grandma said the same thing about you! An old soul. I look at you now and I think...wow, she is going to be an extrordinary mother. You have this side of you that never ceases to amaze me. Such compassion, whether it be old people, mentally challenged people, deaf people, people who get picked on at school. The list goes on and on. People may not know that about you. You have befriended them all when at your age most kids scoff. Never loose that sweetheart. You are special. You will and are going far. I can't wait to stand back and watch you soar. You bring along my heart on the ride.
I love you.

Congrats on passing your test for the learners permit today....Woo and Hoo!!!!!

GO Number 4!!!!!!

Jessa Linnie Pickles won her first soccer game last Saturday and I have to say, it was a blast to watch! They run their little butts off and it's so cute! I never thought Doug would be the freaky involved sports dad until the third time he delayed the game because he wouldn't quit wispering in her ear. Especially since he's played so much soccer in his life????

I'm sure between me yelling at her "Your way cuter than they are honey!!!" and him wispering in her ear to "take out the sasquatch" she'll be a pro player for sure!!

Happy Birthday Boys!!!!!

It was a great night. Full of roasted hot dogs, hulk punch, face painting, castle bouncer, birthday cake, ice cream cones, and so much stinkin fun that when it was time to leave Jessa hid behind the laundry room door and we couldn't find her for 20 minutes! I guess you can officially call the party a hit?

Science Fair

Okay so I lied about making up lies...so far anyway. I have to brag about Ash for a minute. For her 6th grade science fair she got picked to go to Rangely College to the big science fair. They only picked 50 out of 380 6th graders. 5 kids per class and she got chosen. Her teacher loved her project which had to do with making a fire that won't burn paper.....cool huh! Anyway, you can read all about it on her blog. The link is on the right as "Squidward" Good job baby, you little scientific nut you!!!

Check out my kids handiwork

If you look to the right you'll see that my girls all created their own blogs. Now that I think about it ....totally not cool! Now if they post their own news then I can't post about their news so now what the heck am I supposed to post about? I'll just have to make up lies about them I guess.

Henrie's........you've been surrrrrved.....a hula pie!

Put that in your back pocket and ride around on your bike for a while!

Henries...We thought we'd help you out....poor babies :(

Please stay tuned for tomorrows new post where more ass kicking will ensue.

a tender ass kicking

Dear other Henrie family, We decided to make this tenderly sweet movie to ease the pain of the - in your face, bare butt ass kicking- that we are about to deliver in the professional hula-hoop war we have all been sucked in to.
please bend over and push play........


Oh never mind the tender stuff! No more Mr.nice guy. Heres the raw version...."Take it, Take it Take it!"


For those of you who haven't seen the other Henrie families feeble attempt to win click to the right on my list of blog's - Henrie Family (Erin and Dave)and make sure you watch it once with the music off so you can hear her kids talking smack and calling us out!

"that's how she rolls........."

When Jessa saw Erin's blog with the kids hula hooping she had to do her thing too. This is for Riki and Hayden (it's so on... :)

Oh, and about my header pic...I ran on to it this afternoon, it was from this summer when Jessa was playing in her swimming pool... seriously, how funny is that picture? I especially like the butched hair nekkid one, at least her ring matches her earrings. Even nekkid she's still in fashion. I wonder if I could market her? I could call her "Bare Ass Barbie" or "Butch Ass Barbie" or "Bare Butt Blondie" and the only accesories would be jewelry. Oh, and one other thing....notice how she set them up and Ken is actually doubling as a recliner chair back? Ha!

Mr Potatoe Head

Aspen Penelope Wardell or as Amy calls her "Pinelli"

In celebration of slowing down to appreciate the finer things in life, I would like to take a minute for my oldest daughter. Aspen will be turning 16 in April and I HATE it that she is that old already. She is starting to plan her life and it's crazy to me that I could have a kid that would actually have a life plan! But she does. She is already taking college courses at school and she's only a Sophmore. She is following the family tradition of going in to nursing (of course everyone else but ME did that!) She is planning on going to school in Alaska which I hate and I hope changes but we will support her either way...that's what your supposed to do right? I can't tie her down with a garden hose like I did to Mike that one time? Anyway, she's so fun, has her head on straight and is really turning out to be a beautiful, graceful, caring, loving, smart and responsible young adult and I am so proud of her! I love you so much Pinelli!!!!

A violinist in the Metro

Amy sent me this email and I know I passed it on to most of you that check out my blog now and then, but It was so touching to me that I had to post it here too. I think the message in this story is so true.

oh, I found him on playlist and he is amazing so now you can hear him while you read the story :)


A Violinist in the Metro--- Wash, DC

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it
was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.
During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousand of
people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing.
He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his
schedule. A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman
threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk. A few
minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man
looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother
pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This
action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without
exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a
while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He
collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it.
No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in
the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin
worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in
Boston and the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was
organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about
perception, taste and priorities of people.

The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we
perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an
unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in
the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we
missing?

Let's see, I worked late. We had enchiladas for dinner for the third night in a row. Jessa cut one side of Simon's whiskers off so he walks lopsided(Simon's the new kitty that replaced Max - Ashlie's dead hamster) I think he's also in heat. I finally got internet at home but don't have any passwords so you all have to listen to Grandma got run over by a reindeer. The cat tried to hump the internet guy the whole time he was here. I have to go to a three hour meeting tomorrow morning. Really though, i'm just excited we have enough enchiladas leftover for tomorrow night too...hell yah! it's a great day :)